I'm terrible at blogging

I'm just awful at blogging. I don't write constantly. I think maybe if I was Jasmine Star I'd have a half million people sitting at the edge of their seats eagerly awaiting my next entry...but I don't have that pressure. I don't feel the need to do well at making a blog post about where I'll be shooting this weekend....

oh... dangit.

See, I AM shooting this weekend. I'm flying out to Nashville to shoot a design and fashion portfolio for a friend of mine. She's been designing and fabricating clothes for more than a decade. She's trying to break into her industry with a fury like non other, and so am I. Actually I'm sure she wouldn't describe it that way, but the fury part is all me. :-)

There's something about uncharted territory that's always so much fun. I can see the portfolio coming together and turning into a viable piece of work on it's own, but how it will ACTUALLY look is not something I can foresee, which is the exciting part. Once you put that much effort into something it takes on a life of it's own and turns into something amazing.

After I get back, I have to start finishing out that project and working on two others. I need to shoot, edit, and submit my video entry to get a shot at being in the CreativeLIVE studio audience for ZackArias' photography class. I really want to be there, so I'll need to get off my ass and show him how creative and witty I can be. It's going to be nerve wracking putting myself in front of one of my heroes but it must be done. Hopefully Ryan Connolly or Vincent Laforet will be proud of my film-making skills.

After I the video finished up, I have to clean up and finish pre-production on a pinup calendar project that my friend Joelle is producing. It's going to be pretty hip. I'm hoping for a slightly contemporary but mostly film noir twist on this completely saturated but very cool genre. Our plan is to complete the 2012 calendar and then sell it at various record stores and other "hip" places on consignment and then donate all the proceeds to a charity of some sort. That plan might change, but I hope we're able to make something cool and get it out there to share with people and give back to those in need.

Speaking of needs, I need to get crackin. I have a lot to do before I leave tomorrow for Nashville. If anyone reads this, drop a line and let me know. Even if one person read it I'd be happy. Otherwise, this Dear Diary is going to get lonely on some google server all by itself.

Copyright

One thing that our Forefathers wanted to ensure that we as Americans have is the idea of a copyright: The ability to be creative and use that creativity to make money to, in turn, be creative again and sustain the creative flow. This is something that humans wrestle with everyday. Everyone is a copyright infringer. We've all copied images, music, sounds, software, and other things and we're not even aware of it, or if we ARE aware, we might not care.

We need to care.

The wonderful Chase Jarvis shared this video on his blog; from the ASMP panel about this exact subject. Take a listen. It applies to all creatives.

Panel Discussion from Registration Counts on Vimeo.

Photoshop 3.0 called....

...It wants you to retire it.

I know that some of you might use Photoshop almost exclusively for your photo development, but if you're interested in spending less time behind the computer and more time shooting, I recommend Lightroom. I have version 2.7, but I hear that 3.0 is fantastic.

But don't take my word for it. Read it here from someone else

MSI u110 netbook fail

When looking for a netbook last year, I really wanted something that had a TON of battery life. My dad had success with the Acer One netbook that last 3 hours or so, but I really wanted something that lasted longer. I picked up the MSI u110 netbook on newegg when it was on sale (about 25% off).

Right away, I noticed the battery life was about 12 hours. That's amazing! I was very impressed.

It wasn't until newegg's return policy was up that I finally connected it to a network with the RJ45 cable.... NOTHING. Windows7, nor Ubuntu 10.04 recognized that the jack even existed. (lspci showed nothing). (As a side note: the GMA500 graphics chip is God-awful in linux and I couldn't recommend it less.) I was upset, but MSI said that they would take a look at it. Unfortunately, I use the netbook constantly, and being out of a computer for God-knows-how-long wasn't really an option.

Now, tonight, I'm having another issue: The built-in display of the netbook is messed up. Not missing pixels or random lines of goop. It's completely different than that: the screen resolution is wrong. The display should be 1024x600 (since it's a 16:9 widescreen) but it comes up is 4:3 formats, like 1024x768. What does that mean? It means that when Windows loads, you can't see the task bar. Really! You can't move the mouse to click on something that doesn't exist. The computer is essentially useless.

Allow me to demonstrate:

Argh... It started working again. I HATE computers that changed their minds. When I booted it up just now to take a picture, my camera phone wasn't ready yet, so I turned the netbook back off. When I finally had the camera ready, it displayed the correct resolution. Seriously: Very frustrating.

I did notice that the "detected display" that came up in windows this time was different than when it was acting up. When it came up wrong, it said "flat panel display" and wouldn't let me change the drivers for it. When it came up correctly just now, it says "mobile PC display" and won't let me change the drivers either.

I don't doubt that MSI is a good company, since they have plenty of good ones, but the intel GMA 500 graphics chip is a complete dud. I hate it, and I wish I'd never bought this netbook. I wish I could have done more research and found something that worked better.

End rant.

I just can't

I'm sitting at my desk on a Saturday night. My lovely wife is asleep in bed only feet from me. 2 of 3 children are asleep in the rooms down the hall. Last.fm is playing "Thursday Radio" which for some God-forsaken reason includes The Blood Brothers. All is quiet, and all is well.

Or is it?

I'm awake, and I'm thinking about how much I want the future to come sooner than it's ready to. I want my photography to be huge... HUGE... I want the honor and prestige it can bring, and I want it now. It's like I want to fast-forward through the waiting to get to the good stuff. It doesn't help that I'm looking through all the photos on facebook that have "Zack Arias" tagged in them.

The man is a legend. He is everything that a man with a good heart aspires to be. I envy him. Not in the WTF way, but really, the life that he has is amazing. I truly wish that I had that life too, but I'm damned sure that he has struggles that he didn't even mention during his Chase Jarvis Live Interview this past summer. I didn't know about many of his struggles until his wife, Meghan, began to tell the Zack and Meghan Love Saga on her blog (my title, not hers).

I just started to think about how all of these details of life can slip through the cracks within seconds of them being made. Then I realized: What business do I have trying to capture moments with my camera if I keep letting go of all the moments around me? I just wanted to slap myself across the face as hard as I could.

In the Onelight DVD at the beginning, Zack is talking about the idea of "fixing it later in Photoshop" is a sign that you're being lazy and mediocre and if you catch yourself doing that you need to slap yourself as hard as you can. I realized that wanting to fast-forward through all of this waiting that I'm being lazy and I'm being mediocre. I need to slap myself. Although Zack was talking about photography, I applied the lesson to myself.

I began to think about how when Brooklynn, my youngest daughter, was born... All I wanted was for her to get just a little bigger so I could talk to her; have a conversation with her. Now she's 5 and she can talk my ear off. She's getting big. Too big. I want her to slow down and stop growing so she can stay 5 forever, but she can't. No matter how hard I try and wish and plead... I can't make her stop growing. In the same way, I can't make time speed up to pass all of the worry...

I know that in my heart I want this adventure of mine to take off and grow, but in order to do that, I'm going to have to let it be what it's going to be. I can shape it, but ultimately all I can do is try to guide it. But I also know in my heart I'm incredibly sad. This is what I should have been doing 15 years ago and I'm just now getting started, but without all of this time passing exactly the way it has I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be sitting as my desk on a Saturday night. My lovely wife wouldn't be sleeping only feet from me. My 2 of 3 children wouldn't be asleep in the rooms just down the hall. Last.fm might be playing Hopesfall on "Thursday Radio" but it just wouldn't be the same.

Your mom hates this

I came across an awesome marketing tool today:

Do you remember when you would just love a movie or video game and your mom thought it was gross, disgusting, inappropriate, etc? The idea that your mom hated it made you want it more, love it more, experience it more... Well, apparently someone is capitalizing on that.

Love you, ma.....

Enjoy.

Vivian Maier

It's amazing to me that photographers leave so many unanswered questions behind.



I hope to God that I don't have to die to become famous.