Sunday, July 1, 2012

I successfully didn't die today

Well, I survived the day.

Why do I mention "surviving?" Well... I spent most of my waking day on this:

(Photo Courtesy of Suzuki - Here)

That's right, folks: Someone let me not only ride their motorcycle, but taught me how to ride it. The folks down at have Motorcycle Safety Foundation courses that teach you this stuff. Why did I take a class instead of just getting a bike and "learning" how to ride it myself in my neighborhood? Well, mostly because I'm accident prone. I make a regular habit of unintentionally shoulder-checking the wall while walking between rooms so I know full-well that I needed proper instruction on how to ride. 

The second thing I've been thinking about is what type of bike to get after I finish the riding class (and receive my DMV "M" Voucher thingy). The Super Sport bikes look like fun, don't get me wrong... I'd LOVE an old Honda CBR600, but I think I'm going to go with something easier to learn on first. 

(The Honda CBR250 is Captain America's personal choice...)

Now, I've heard all the arguments that a 600cc bike is a great starter bike and that I should skip the 250cc bikes and go right for it. But frankly, after being on a 250cc bike today I don't think a 600cc is going to be confidence-inspiring with all of the power and intimidation that it's going to bring. There's this big thing in the US that dudes ride on big bikes or they're pussies, which is why 600cc bikes are for "starting out" and 250cc bikes are for "women." Frankly, Fuck all of you that think that way and the women should probably go kick your ass and my wife will be first in line. Riding a bicycle for the first time when you were 5 was fucking scary (if you can remember that far back) and you started on a 12" Huffy before you grew into the 20", and then the 26", right? (not to mention riding preferences: road, mountain, kushy seat for your super-sized posterior, etc) So what makes you think that a motorcycle is any different? Forget the fact that you had short legs when you were 5 and all you have is a lack of experience that can scare the hell out of you. I'll be honest: it was scary trying to swerve, and turn, and NOT DIE, while I was trying to figure out what I was doing on the 250cc internal combustion BOMB between my legs.

(Yamaha FZ6R - 4 Gallons of gasoline between my legs makes for a great vasectomy)

Oh... and the other reason why I won't be starting out on a CBR600? I don't have a small penis. Which definitely means I won't be jumping to Harley Sportster 1200 either. Sorry, No Small Penis Here. (Same reason I'll never own a Ferarri)

(Great Kid! Don't get all Penis-y! - The Other Han Solo, Peter Griffin)

I'm sure that after I pass the class I'll have time to think about what bike I'm going to get for my commute and for fun, but I don't have enough experience yet to warrant thinking about a particular bike yet. Not seriously, anyway. I definitely think the look of the Super Sports are cool. The regular Sport bikes like the Yamaha FZ6R (as opposed to the YZF-R6) might be more my style since I could sit up a little better than on a Super Sport. For Cruisers: I'm only 5'7" so I would look retarded on a  Harley Road King, not to mention that I haven't earned it; Check in with me when I'm 50. 

(I can only be the King of the Road if I can actually reach the road)

The whole thing puts me in sort of a "What Now?" scenario. There's a guy at my new Day Job, "Lomax" who actually buys bikes, fixes them up, and flips them for fun. I told him what I was up to with the course and he said that there's probably something we could work out, but he suggested getting an old Yamaha Maxim or something similar between 450cc and 650cc, or even smaller, and just rock it out for a while until I actually have preferences about what I actually want. 

(Maxim the Bike, not Maxim the Magazine)

If I prefer more power? Now I know. If I prefer better handling? Now I know. If I want to pick up chics the wife and have a great night out? Now I know. But its hard to know those things when my experience amounts to the 3 miles I put on a bike while riding it in circles in a parking lot.

(Even hot chics that don't even like me my wife would want a ride.)

I just realized that I'm totally defending actions I haven't taken yet with this post.... Maybe I'll go back and put pics of motorcycles with funny captions to make it a little less... "heavy"... Maybe even apologize to those that bought a 600cc "starter bike"... Probably not though... I just happened to be aware of the small-penis-sociology thing.

Anyway, I'll try to have my cell on me tomorrow and make some pics of riding around. I didn't have it on me today since I didn't want to be distracted, but there was just enough down time that I wish I had it to make some shots of the other riders. 

Oh, and I did NOT take any of the photos in this post. They're all owned by their respective owners and I've linked back to where I got them in order to spread the love. I don't make money from blogging and I didn't profit from their work. This was totally educational. Suck it, Trebek!

No comments:

Post a Comment